In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
