Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize