i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
