you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize