absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
