love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Porn is love you can see.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
