I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
