Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Everyone says I win the strip club
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize