i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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