he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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