How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
