My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
