This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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