I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize