You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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