one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
