The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
