So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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