you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
