Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
