I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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