The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
