I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
