Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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