Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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