I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize