If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
