Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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