worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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