I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
