I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
