I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize