Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
