It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
