Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
