What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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