i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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