Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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