He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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