Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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