I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
