the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Welp...herpes.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
