I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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