Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
