so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Is it because I queefed?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
