gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
