I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
