You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
