i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
