My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
