You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
