No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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