Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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