you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Randomize
