So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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