So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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