I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
