The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
