I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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