she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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