I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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