I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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