Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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