he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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