You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
