Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize