The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
high people should be assigned attendants
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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