just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
