I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
