he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
