I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
