how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
